Tag Archives: frustration

Complications of a delayed surgery.

Woke up this morning feeling pretty depressed.  I haven’t had a good run or bit of exercise since last Wednesday.  Between this cold and a pollen count of over 9,000 (extremely high considered to be >500) the one gentle walk I’ve taken to try and get my system moving probably swept more junk into my lungs than it expelled out.

I also woke up from a dream in which my boyfriend angrily yelled at me to not be frustrated (which, literally, does not happen in real life) and thinking about my work situation.  I’ve been saving money for the last few months because I knew I’d have this time off, so it’s not like I won’t be able to pay my bills, it’s just that it looks like I’m not going to be working for the better part of a month.  Thus using twice as much of my savings as I originally thought I’d need, thanks to this glorious f*@%ing cold that already kept me from working last Saturday.  Once again, I’m going to have to overlook the negative aspect (the financial), appreciate that my health is the priority, and look at the positive: some unexpected time off while I’m up and about.  Time with my Mom, who I so seldom get to see.  And who knows, maybe I’ll even get to go to the cabin in the woods for those two nights next week if no one asks me to work for them.

So, I sit here drinking some reheated coffee that is too sweet and too old, but it is good.  I was without it for a few days and with the blood supply being cut off to my thyroid, it’s a little piece of heaven right now.  I think what the body and mind need today is a good, long walk.  Maybe I can even try a run in a few days after it (hopefully) rains and my lungs are clear.  Today though, a drive out to the park for a good, long walk in the woods sounds like it should lift this cloud that surrounds me.

More good news…  the swelling at the first I.V. site from yesterday where the nurse exploded my vein is much better.  When I took the bandages off last night, I had expected bruising, but I also had some serious swelling which I found surprising.  It is now only slightly puffy, and I can hang my arm normally by my side without any pain.  I still have some purple writing below my neck, but considering what’s come so far and what’s to come soon, who gives a flying rat?  You could also surmise this to be my attitude if you’d seen my hair, face, and clothing through the rest of the day yesterday and this morning.  Sometimes other things are more important.  and I’m okay flopping about for a day or two like a ragamuffin.

Operation cloud raise today will consist of coffee (which I’m currently placing in action), a good 5 mile walk in the sunshine, a shower, a load of laundry, and a few chapters of Mike Birbiglia’s Sleepwalk With Me.  Then if that gets it halfway up, maybe making a batch of soap would finish it off.  Wish me luck, ’cause this cloud is thick as the morning fog in San Francisco Bay.


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